Am I Having An Emotional Affair?
Just think to yourself or start a conversation. This is just the beginning of a discussion on the new era of social media and relationships. Please understand if you are triggered by this information, it is not meant to be an account of everyone's relationship, but it might be yours.
“It’s harmless”, “just flirting”, “nothing even happened”; is it, was it, didn't it? Emotional affairs happen so fast many don’t realize they’re in the midst of it. This list is not exhausted, nor does it mean you absolutely are involved in one. The only way to really deal with this, is a true self-examination of your actions and the feelings behind them.
Would any of these hold true for you or your partner?
You’re taking steps toward privacy that weren't in place before
You share personal thoughts or stories with someone of the opposite sex.
You spend significant time alone with him or her either in person or online.
You feel a greater emotional intimacy with him or her than you do with your spouse.
You start comparing him or her to your partner.
You long for, and look forward to, your next contact or conversation.
You start changing your normal routine or duties to spend more time with him or her.
You feel the need to keep conversations or activities involving him or her a secret
You fantasize about spending time with, getting to know or sharing a life with him or her.
Restoring relationships from an emotional affairs takes much work on rebuilding trust, developing open communication and revitalizing sexual intimacy just like physical affairs. It doesn't happen overnight, but you can move into a better, happier, more satisfying relationship if you’re honest with yourself and your partner.
We live in an era where almost all aspects of your personal life can be captured and shared by an online entity. It also allows for more opportunity to meet and connect with people from all over the world. The chance of finding someone in another city, state or country with the same interests as you is far easier than years past. The possibility of connecting with an old classmate from school is inevitable. The question is can your relationship or your marriage survive in this new technological world.
I know that having friendships outside of your marriage is important. Relationships do not survive by only being connected with the one you love. You must have a sense of self beyond that to include others who share your views, interests and goals in life. What I find couples struggle with is how to hold both necessities simultaneously without putting your own values (and vows in many cases) in jeopardy of an affair.
It's about keeping yourself aware and understanding your actions and the effects of them.
